piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
