Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
