lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
