Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
