When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We are all done wearing pants today
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
