Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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