he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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