you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
