we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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