At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
