At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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