just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
