I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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