i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
