So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.