this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.