I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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