Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize