I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
