I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
we're so committed to being not committed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
