no, he came in my armpit
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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