He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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