I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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