I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
