i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
