I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize