No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
