Do you still have your period?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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