he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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