More tranny stories later!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
