dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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