my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
