What did we do last night that was yellow?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
