Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
