i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
