we're blogging at a bar
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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