I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize