I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
