So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
