Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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