his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Four minutes until I can fart!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
