she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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