Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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