she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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