i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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