can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
