dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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