I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
