You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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