i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
