He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
where does the pee come out of this thing
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
