There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
