I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I didn't notice because vodka
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
