It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
