apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
