Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
