i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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