marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's official drugs can't kill me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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