At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
