she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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