ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
