she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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