Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
