who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize