"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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