I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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